Angst, Anxiety & the Alchemy of Desire Part 2: TRAUMA BONDS and The PECULIAR VS THE COMMON WOMAN

Angst, Anxiety & the Alchemy of Desire Part 2: TRAUMA BONDS and The PECULIAR VS THE COMMON WOMAN 



Angst

Definition:
A deep, often existential feeling of dread or anxiety about life, purpose, or the future.

Key Traits:

  • Rooted in uncertainty or meaninglessness

  • More abstract, philosophical, or spiritual in nature

  • Can feel like a restless dissatisfaction with life or self

Example:
A person in their 30s questioning the direction of their life may feel a constant low-level angst.


Anxiety

Definition:
An intense, excessive, and often irrational worry or fear about everyday situations or future events.

Key Traits:

  • Often physical (racing heart, sweating, tension)

  • Can be triggered by specific fears or stressors

  • Linked to mental health conditions (e.g. generalized anxiety disorder)

Example:
A woman waiting for a reply to an important text from her partner might feel anxious—sweaty palms, fast heartbeat, racing thoughts.


In short:
🔹 Angst = existential dread (more about life)
🔹 Anxiety = emotional/physical worry (more about something happening)


🌫️ ANGST in Relationships

“Something is missing... but I don’t know what.”

Definition in Context:

Angst is that deep, restless feeling of existential unease. It’s not always tied to a specific problem—it’s more of a spiritual or emotional void. In romantic dynamics, it often shows up when a person craves something deeper, more meaningful, or transformative—but can't quite articulate what that is.



How It Manifests:

  • In women: A woman might be in a stable relationship with a “good man,” but feel emotionally unfulfilled. She may start seeking depth, mystery, or chaos to fill the void—sometimes through drama, sometimes through fantasizing about a “bad boy” or emotionally distant man who triggers her emotional alchemy.

  • In men: A man may feel that no woman can fully “see” or validate his inner complexity. He might withdraw, chase spiritual meaning, or test women with silence, detachment, or artistic expression.

Spiritual Dimension:

Angst is often a soul-level hunger for transformation, purpose, or transcendence. In a woman, this can appear as the compulsion to fix, save, or redeem a man. In a man, it may appear as a quest for sovereignty, mission, or authentic power.


⚡ ANXIETY in Relationships

“I’m scared something will go wrong.”

Definition in Context:

Anxiety is fear of loss, rejection, or chaos—often irrational, but intense. It’s more grounded in specific concerns, and it’s driven by attachment.

How It Manifests:

  • In women: She might worry that her man is pulling away, cheating, or no longer finds her attractive. She may compulsively text, demand reassurance, or interpret silence as a threat.

  • In men: He may fear that emotional vulnerability makes him look weak. He may act stoic or avoidant, fearing he’ll be “too much” or “not enough.”

Spiritual Dimension:

Anxiety is the soul’s way of crying out for security and control. Spiritually, it often reflects a disconnection from God or one’s inner center. People try to anchor themselves in a person instead of purpose, which creates emotional volatility.


🔥 Where Angst & Anxiety Collide in Desire

A woman may feel angst when she’s with a good man who doesn’t challenge her emotionally or spiritually—and feel anxiety when she’s with a mysterious or flawed man whose attention isn’t guaranteed.

This paradox makes her desire both the safety of virtue and the thrill of transformation.

A man may feel angst when he’s too available and senses he’s being emotionally emasculated—and feel anxiety when his emotional detachment risks pushing her away.

This tension keeps both sides dancing around power and purpose—and often fuels the rollercoaster of modern romantic entanglements.



⚔️ TRAUMA BONDING & SPIRITUAL WARFARE IN RELATIONSHIPS

How the enemy weaponizes angst, anxiety, and desire to keep people bound.


🎭 What Is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is an intense emotional attachment formed through cycles of abuse, neglect, validation, and euphoria. It often happens when a person’s need for love and safety becomes entangled with fear and pain.

In spiritual terms:

A trauma bond is a counterfeit covenant.
It's forged in dysfunction but sealed in hope. It mimics intimacy, but it’s rooted in wounding, not wholeness.


😩 How Angst Fuels the Bond

Angst whispers: “This must mean something.”
The restless void, the ache, the “why can’t I leave?” feeling—these are not just psychological; they are spiritual hooks.

When a woman experiences existential angst in a relationship with a toxic or unstable man, she may interpret that as passion or “fate.” She begins to believe it’s her mission to heal him or endure the suffering until love finally manifests.

When a man experiences angst with a woman who is emotionally unavailable or manipulative, he may fixate on winning her over to prove his worth or feeling alive through emotional chaos.

The devil manipulates angst by disguising it as depth.


😰 How Anxiety Becomes a Chain

Anxiety says: “You’ll lose them if you stop trying.”
It keeps people locked in survival-mode love—always performing, always over-giving, always afraid.

This anxiety can be weaponized by narcissists or emotionally abusive partners who breadcrumb affection, creating a high-stakes emotional casino where attention and intimacy are never guaranteed.

The enemy uses anxiety to keep people chasing false gods—relationships that consume their peace, purpose, and identity.


🔁 The Cycle (and the Satanic Parody)

Here’s how trauma bonding plays out spiritually:

  1. Initial Spark: Passion, attraction, desire

  2. Disruption: Withdrawal, rejection, emotional withholding

  3. Anxiety: Panic, fear of loss, people-pleasing

  4. False Resolution: Reconnection, make-up sex, emotional high

  5. Angst: “Why can’t I quit them?” existential questioning

  6. Repeat

This cycle creates soul fragmentation—people give more and more of themselves to fix something that was never divine in the first place. It’s a parody of covenant. A satanic remix of God’s plan for intimacy, where the throne of God is replaced by the idol of romantic obsession.


🛡️ Spiritual Warfare: Breaking the Bond

The key to healing from trauma bonds isn’t just self-love or therapy (though they help)—it’s deliverance. Because what we’re dealing with is often:

  • A spirit of control

  • A spirit of fear

  • A spirit of lust

  • A Jezebel-Ahab dynamic

  • A counterfeit version of sacrificial love

To break free:

  1. Recognize the lie: The pain is not proof of destiny.

  2. Reclaim your identity: You are not a fixer, savior, or emotional martyr.

  3. Rebuild covenant with God: Real love begins with spiritual alignment, not trauma chemistry.

  4. Renounce the spirit: Speak against the demonic influences behind the relationship (fear, idolatry, lust, abandonment).

  5. Restore the altar: Prayer, fasting, repentance, and reclaiming your temple (body, mind, soul).


🧠 Quick Comparison: Holy Love vs Trauma Bond


Holy Love

Trauma Bond

Rooted In

Truth & Identity in God

Fear & Wounded Ego

Motivated By

Peace, Purpose, Covenant

Anxiety, Obsession, Need for Control

Feels Like

Rest, Trust, Growth

Highs & Lows, Addiction, Confusion

Centered On

God’s Will

Ego, Fantasy, Emotional Fix

Long-Term Fruit

Wholeness & Spiritual Growth

Burnout, Fragmentation, Idolatry


Here's a visual-style breakdown of Trauma Bonding vs. Holy Love, including biblical references that anchor each concept in Scripture. This format is perfect for slides, teaching notes, or social media breakdowns.


🔥 Visual Breakdown: Holy Love vs. Trauma Bonding

Exposing the Counterfeit, Reclaiming the Covenant


🛡️ 1. ROOT SYSTEM

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Rooted in identity in Christ

Rooted in fear, rejection, and abandonment wounds

Verse: "You are complete in Him." (Col. 2:10)

Verse: “God has not given us a spirit of fear…” (2 Tim. 1:7)

Stems from overflow of God's love

Stems from emotional survival and spiritual bondage


⚖️ 2. MOTIVATION

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Guided by purpose, peace, and covenant

Driven by fear of loss, anxiety, emotional highs & lows

Verse: “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)

Verse: “They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves…” (2 Pet. 2:19)

Desires to give and serve

Desires to possess or be validated


🌿 3. SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERE

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Carries God’s presence, order, and rest

Breeds confusion, chaos, lust, control

Verse: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Cor. 3:17)

Verse: “For God is not the author of confusion...” (1 Cor. 14:33)

Nurtures spiritual fruit (Gal. 5:22-23)

Recycles soul fragmentation & emotional instability


💍 4. BONDING PATTERN

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Covenant: rooted in God’s design

Counterfeit: rooted in cycles of pain/pleasure

Verse: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Eccl. 4:12)

Verse: “You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and demons.” (1 Cor. 10:21)

Builds trust, accountability, and spiritual legacy

Reinforces bondage, shame, and double-mindedness


🧠 5. MINDSET

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Clear mind, sober heart, peace

Obsessive thoughts, confusion, rumination

Verse: “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom. 12:2)

Verse: “A double-minded man is unstable...” (James 1:8)

God-centered

Ego- or fear-centered


🪞 6. SPIRITUAL WARFARE

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Fights for purity, prayer, and purpose

Justifies sin, emotional idolatry, soul fragmentation

Verse: “Resist the devil and he will flee.” (James 4:7)

Verse: “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…” (Rom. 1:25)

Exposes demonic patterns

Masks demonic strongholds as “passion” or “love”


🍇 7. FRUIT & FUTURE

🔹 Holy Love

🚨 Trauma Bond

Legacy, joy, healing, growth, generational blessing

Delayed destiny, spiritual regression, soul depletion

Verse: “By their fruit you will recognize them.” (Matt. 7:16)

Verse: “What fellowship does light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)

Partners with Heaven

Tied to emotional chaos and spiritual stagnation


👑 Final Truth:

“Holy love sanctifies. Trauma bonding simulates. One leads to peace, the other to pieces.”



👑 Peculiar Woman       vs          Common Woman                 

“Be ye separate.” (2 Cor. 6:17)

Category

Peculiar Woman 🕊️

Common Woman 🔄

Spiritual Identity

Set apart, walks with God

Follows trends, seeks approval

Core Value

Purpose, discernment, legacy

Pleasure, attention, status

Relational Approach

Chooses her man through prayer and wisdom

Chases validation through attention and attraction

Emotional Tone

Disciplined, introspective, anchored in truth

Reactive, insecure, driven by emotion

Modesty

Dresses with spiritual intent, honors the temple

Dresses to attract or manipulate

Love Language

Builds, nurtures, multiplies

Consumes, drains, demands

Femininity

Soft but strong; virtuous and visionary

Loud or seductive; either overly passive or hyper-independent

Power Source

Holy Spirit

Culture, social media, lust

Social Behavior

Rare, private, often misunderstood

Popular, predictable, hyper-visible

Mating Philosophy

Looks for covenant

Looks for attention or control

Desire Trigger

Masculine leadership + spiritual authority

Excitement, danger, instability

Conflict Response

Prayerful, discerning, sometimes silent

Argumentative, emotionally impulsive

Legacy Minded?

Yes—thinks generationally

No—thinks transactionally


🕊️ The Peculiar Woman:

  • She is “peculiar” because she is not governed by culture, but by Kingdom principles.

  • She refuses to weaponize beauty or sexuality for short-term gain.

  • She sees relationships through the lens of assignment and alignment, not access or attraction.

  • She builds altars, not platforms.

  • She’s often overlooked by common men because she doesn’t perform for attention.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)



🔄 The Common Woman:

  • She is the product of the culture: curated, overexposed, often confused about her worth.

  • Her identity is tied to how many men desire her, not how Heaven sees her.

  • She may be moral but not holy—spiritually dead yet socially alive.

  • Often chasing broken men, but rejecting whole ones—because healing feels unfamiliar.

  • May be good-hearted, but easily manipulated by emotional hunger.

“Having a form of godliness but denying its power...” (2 Tim. 3:5)


⚔️ Final Word:

The peculiar woman is rare because she is refined by fire.
She won’t be everyone’s type—but she’s God’s choice.
And the man who finds her… finds favor, not just a female.


KELVIN L. STUBBLEFIELD IS A GRADUATE OF Middle Tennessee State University IN 1983.

HE IS THE AUTHOR OF “AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN”. THAT WAS PUBLISHED IN 2012.

HE AND HIS WIFE SANDRIA, CO-FOUNDED “BIGSTUB CREATIONS” IN 2018. We are a vehicle for creativity! Our mission is to encourage individuals to utilize their artistic expression through the performing arts.

He has recently published his second book in November 2023.

STAYING HUMAN: EXAMINING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GOD, MAN AND ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE”.

Biblical, Spiritual, and Social Analysis and Solutions to Black Americans and Mainstream AMERICAN Dysgenics, Narcissistic Self Indulgence, and the Current Politics of Self Annihilation. Amidst the dawning of Artificial General intelligence and Trans-Humanity.

YOU CAN PURCHASE HIS PUBLICATIONS OR LEARN ABOUT OUR NEXT PROJECT; YOU CAN VISIT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES.

https://www.klstubblefield.com/

Staying Human

https://www.bigstubcreations.com/

https://loveintheblack.blogspot.com/

https://lovingmyhumans.blogspot.com

https://kelvinstubblefield.substack.com/publish/post/147765776

CASHAPP DONATIONS: $bigstub

 

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