Black Woman's Defenses Against Love.
Black Woman's Defenses Against Love.
For sisters true love requires submission, and vulnerability to pain. These two concepts terrify many of today 's modern African American women as it does many other men and women. However the black woman , whether consciously or unconsciously , in many cases goes to great lengths in order to fend off the threat of establishing true love. Love for many black woman brings FEAR and fear brings torment so brothers we have to be aware of this when dealing with our women she puts these defense mechanisms up to do three things
1) Test the man
2) Repel the man ( drive him away)
3) Control the man
Let's look at these three reasons a little closer.
1) Testing the man.
Many productive brothers will tell you that to love or try to love a black woman is a constant chore, because she is always doing things to test your love and commitment. She creates barriers whether real or artificial for men to overcome ( we will discuss these barriers later). This constant testing can vary from woman to woman based on her fear level and her mental and emotional state. Black women make testing men an art form. Too many sisters go to far in this area. This is akin to the church showing a lack of faith and wanting to see a SIGN from God in order to be reassured of his power and love. Black women want to see the same thing in her men. She wants to see his power in order to access whether she can submit and she wants constant reassurance of his love for her. Many sisters go too far in this and they end up doing the second defense mechanism which is.....
2) Repelling the man
Sisters are the best in the world at pushing men out of their lives. They are always thinking two to three steps ahead of their man, so she is constantly from moment to moment evaluating or re- evaluating whether or not her man measures up. If she feels a smidgen of displeasure, if he is not perfect or awesome in every way, if he is not Superman or prince charming she begins her quest in driving him out of her life. She will criticize, belittle, use, and/ or abuse the man in order to get him to leave. She does not want to have to put in THE WORK, in order to make the relationship last so she becomes content in her "aloneness".
The sister is comfortable in her particular state , it may seem so dysfunctional to the would be suitor that he can't understand why she won't jump at the chance to be in a healthy loving relationship. Why is she so difficult? She is difficult because her fear of change is greater than her desire for love. She in many cases is NOT ready for love because she has not given her heart to conversion in Christ. Love for the reprobate sister is an abomination. She will repel the brother at all cost and return to her homeostatic state of dysfunction and tell herself the lie that there are no good black men out there.
3) Control the man.
Many sisters may enter the relationship with the same fears as the woman who repels her man , but they may try to overcome this desire to repel because they want to be in a relationship but they want it on THEIR TERMS. These women will try to control the man. She will try to steer the relationship into her liking. She will try to mold and shape the man into HER image and likeness in order for her to feel comfortable with him. This of course usually backfires , but it does in many cases maintain a semblance of a long term relationship. However the major characteristic of her designed relationship is there will be NO SUBMISSION to her man. This makes her comfortable in being in a relationship and if the man allows her to do this she may stay with him on a long term basis. The relationship , however, will not reach it's full potential because it is out of God's order. The man is not the true head so dysfunction is inevitable. It will be up to the man to rectify this. HE will have to overcome his insecurities and use his will to power to steer the relationship in the direction HE wants. And if he is a noble brother both he and the woman will be the better off.
Remember the woman represent, what I like to call beautiful chaos. She is the force of loving creativity but this force can bring destruction if it is not ORDERED by a higher power. The man represents that higher power in the relationship. The woman MUST NOT be allowed to steer the relationship. There can only be one driver in the car. Two hands on the wheel will cause a wreck. Man you take the keys and steer that relationship. Don't let her drive, it will be like putting a child behind the wheel of a muscle car.
Types of defenses women use.
American society is a corrupt and decadent society. It is evil in every way so it is no surprise that this country's wickedness is reflected in the psyche of the black woman. America is against true godly principles and too many black women are in alliance with America so she is against God as well( he that is not with me is against me says the Lord)) this applies to the black woman as well as many black men . Remember the black woman's primary mission was to serve her man and be a help meet to him in establishing HIS vision in life. American society has usurped the man's ability to establish his vision in many different ways,, economically, politically, financially and socially. Socially is what America has done to EMPOWER the black woman TOO rebel against God and her noble husband or potential husband. America has enabled today's woman white or black to stand against her man. Especially if he is black. In order to fend off the advances of love from the black man America has empowered her to act in the following ways: she can be a:
1) BITCH
American Black women are without a doubt the most difficult women on the planet to get along with. This is no coincidence it has been created by the white supremacist slave system , through the Willie lynch concept on up to today's violence against woman's act that can send a man to jail for just arguing with a woman. This empowers the woman to act out in a haughty arrogant way toward her man. She can cuss him out, call him names, fight him, and if he defends himself he can go to jail, and just basically use whatever tool in her psychotic arsenal to emasculate him. This of course drives noble men away and leaves her alone and vulnerable to the wolves of the world because she has now left the good shepherd .
2) WHORE
Being a whore in America is not only normal, it is expected . This is one of the sickest concepts in human history. A country that EMBRACES whoredom is a country on the fast track to death and desolation. Black women are promoted in the media and society in general as the world's most whorish woman. It is now normal. Remember homeostasis , society is now comfortable with their women being whores. Whores pollute the land and increase transgression. It enables wicked elitist to gain and maintain power over the masses. The black woman knows it is easy to get a man to sleep with her so she uses her leverage of whoredom against the Noble brother who may assume she os not whorish and is willing to wait for marriage. She however has another agenda. She uses him as a do-boy, or sugar daddy while she has sex with Tyrone or Pookie , or Dae-Dae. The noble brother puts in the work and the thug low life vile brother reaps the so -called reward of the whores vagina. This of course has destabilized black society to the point that we no longer have any political clout in America . This is become evident do to the high profile killings of young black men by the police . American government no longer respects the black nation and does not fear it politically because of the rampant whoredom and the resultant transgressions that accompany it within black America.
3) CAREER WOMAN.
Scandal, Being Mary Jane, Atlanta housewives, Love and Hip-Hop, all promote black women at the so-called pinnacle of American society. She is viewed as smarter, more sophisticated, more adaptable than her black man and therefore has to STEP HIS GAME UP IN ORDER TO BE ON HER LEVEL. This is designed by the white supremacist society to further alienate the black man from his woman. This causes more haughtiness and snobbery in the black woman. This allows the black woman to justify her refusal to submit to the love of a black man . She doesn't need his money, nor his love. She may desire his sex , which for too many brothers is ok. This further destabilizes the black family
4) FAT WOMAN
Obesity is rampant in America. Especially black America. The fattest women in America are the African American women. Fat in many cases is a shield against love. Many women after years of hurt and frustration ward off the advances of men by gaining weight. This may be done consciously or unconsciously but it is happening at epidemic rates within the black female population.
5) BABY MAMA
74% of black children are born out of wedlock. Nothing displays the black woman's collective dysfunction like the baby mamma epidemic. She is so deceived and her mind so deluded that she actually celebrates this social scourge with baby showers , pictures on Facebook etc. Having a child out of wedlock stifles a woman's chances for a productive fruitful marriage and hinders her potential career path. Noble brothers who would make the women good husbands are in many cases turned off by the prospect of raising another man's seed. I for one would not want to do it. So I know there are many other men out there who feel the same way. Especially if the woman has multiple children with multiple men that reduces her odds of getting a good husband even more. This usually forces the women to date the vile and uneducated , uncouth element or what we call the thugs. Thugs are not giving their own future much consideration and they are themselves looking for a "COME UP", so if they have to raise another man's kids in order to live in her apartment he'll do it. This gives the woman power because she is now the HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD. And we all know what happens when she leads the family.
6) CHURCH GIRL
" JESUS IS MY HUBAND!!" How many brothers have heard that line. The church girl wards off potential husbands with the delusion that God will be the best husband she can find , that she will not settle for " a man" because she is too blessed and highly favored by God to defile herself with marrying a mere mortal. She would rather marry the pastor , but he is already taken. So if the man is not a preacher she ain't got much interest. She loves the church and devotes all her free time to it. And then spends years dreaming of the perfect God fearing man swooping in to take her away. She waits and waits and waits.....
These are just some of the barriers and defense mechanisms black women create in order to fend of submission to the love of a good black man. The sister is single because she WANTS TO BE SINGLE. She wants to be single because she is scared of love and the requirements of submission and vulnerability it brings. Too many black women today are LAZY COWARDS, when it comes to love and marriage, however they disguise it. There is no relationship that does not require work to maintain it. If you get a dog, you have to house break it, buy dog food and take the dog for walks , you and the dog have a relationship. If you don't want to do those activities don,t get a dog. If you don't want a long term and rewarding relationship then do some of the things I have just listed
K.L. STUBBLEFIELD IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN.
You can order my book on
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1466900237/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader_1466900237
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/k.-l.-stubblefield
http://www.booksamillion.com/p/American-Reprobate/K-L-Stubblefield/9781466900233
https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=K.+L.+Stubblefield
For sisters true love requires submission, and vulnerability to pain. These two concepts terrify many of today 's modern African American women as it does many other men and women. However the black woman , whether consciously or unconsciously , in many cases goes to great lengths in order to fend off the threat of establishing true love. Love for many black woman brings FEAR and fear brings torment so brothers we have to be aware of this when dealing with our women she puts these defense mechanisms up to do three things
1) Test the man
2) Repel the man ( drive him away)
3) Control the man
Let's look at these three reasons a little closer.
1) Testing the man.
2) Repelling the man
Sisters are the best in the world at pushing men out of their lives. They are always thinking two to three steps ahead of their man, so she is constantly from moment to moment evaluating or re- evaluating whether or not her man measures up. If she feels a smidgen of displeasure, if he is not perfect or awesome in every way, if he is not Superman or prince charming she begins her quest in driving him out of her life. She will criticize, belittle, use, and/ or abuse the man in order to get him to leave. She does not want to have to put in THE WORK, in order to make the relationship last so she becomes content in her "aloneness".
The sister is comfortable in her particular state , it may seem so dysfunctional to the would be suitor that he can't understand why she won't jump at the chance to be in a healthy loving relationship. Why is she so difficult? She is difficult because her fear of change is greater than her desire for love. She in many cases is NOT ready for love because she has not given her heart to conversion in Christ. Love for the reprobate sister is an abomination. She will repel the brother at all cost and return to her homeostatic state of dysfunction and tell herself the lie that there are no good black men out there.
3) Control the man.
Many sisters may enter the relationship with the same fears as the woman who repels her man , but they may try to overcome this desire to repel because they want to be in a relationship but they want it on THEIR TERMS. These women will try to control the man. She will try to steer the relationship into her liking. She will try to mold and shape the man into HER image and likeness in order for her to feel comfortable with him. This of course usually backfires , but it does in many cases maintain a semblance of a long term relationship. However the major characteristic of her designed relationship is there will be NO SUBMISSION to her man. This makes her comfortable in being in a relationship and if the man allows her to do this she may stay with him on a long term basis. The relationship , however, will not reach it's full potential because it is out of God's order. The man is not the true head so dysfunction is inevitable. It will be up to the man to rectify this. HE will have to overcome his insecurities and use his will to power to steer the relationship in the direction HE wants. And if he is a noble brother both he and the woman will be the better off.
Remember the woman represent, what I like to call beautiful chaos. She is the force of loving creativity but this force can bring destruction if it is not ORDERED by a higher power. The man represents that higher power in the relationship. The woman MUST NOT be allowed to steer the relationship. There can only be one driver in the car. Two hands on the wheel will cause a wreck. Man you take the keys and steer that relationship. Don't let her drive, it will be like putting a child behind the wheel of a muscle car.
Types of defenses women use.
American society is a corrupt and decadent society. It is evil in every way so it is no surprise that this country's wickedness is reflected in the psyche of the black woman. America is against true godly principles and too many black women are in alliance with America so she is against God as well( he that is not with me is against me says the Lord)) this applies to the black woman as well as many black men . Remember the black woman's primary mission was to serve her man and be a help meet to him in establishing HIS vision in life. American society has usurped the man's ability to establish his vision in many different ways,, economically, politically, financially and socially. Socially is what America has done to EMPOWER the black woman TOO rebel against God and her noble husband or potential husband. America has enabled today's woman white or black to stand against her man. Especially if he is black. In order to fend off the advances of love from the black man America has empowered her to act in the following ways: she can be a:
1) BITCH
American Black women are without a doubt the most difficult women on the planet to get along with. This is no coincidence it has been created by the white supremacist slave system , through the Willie lynch concept on up to today's violence against woman's act that can send a man to jail for just arguing with a woman. This empowers the woman to act out in a haughty arrogant way toward her man. She can cuss him out, call him names, fight him, and if he defends himself he can go to jail, and just basically use whatever tool in her psychotic arsenal to emasculate him. This of course drives noble men away and leaves her alone and vulnerable to the wolves of the world because she has now left the good shepherd .
2) WHORE
Being a whore in America is not only normal, it is expected . This is one of the sickest concepts in human history. A country that EMBRACES whoredom is a country on the fast track to death and desolation. Black women are promoted in the media and society in general as the world's most whorish woman. It is now normal. Remember homeostasis , society is now comfortable with their women being whores. Whores pollute the land and increase transgression. It enables wicked elitist to gain and maintain power over the masses. The black woman knows it is easy to get a man to sleep with her so she uses her leverage of whoredom against the Noble brother who may assume she os not whorish and is willing to wait for marriage. She however has another agenda. She uses him as a do-boy, or sugar daddy while she has sex with Tyrone or Pookie , or Dae-Dae. The noble brother puts in the work and the thug low life vile brother reaps the so -called reward of the whores vagina. This of course has destabilized black society to the point that we no longer have any political clout in America . This is become evident do to the high profile killings of young black men by the police . American government no longer respects the black nation and does not fear it politically because of the rampant whoredom and the resultant transgressions that accompany it within black America.3) CAREER WOMAN.
4) FAT WOMAN
Obesity is rampant in America. Especially black America. The fattest women in America are the African American women. Fat in many cases is a shield against love. Many women after years of hurt and frustration ward off the advances of men by gaining weight. This may be done consciously or unconsciously but it is happening at epidemic rates within the black female population.
5) BABY MAMA
74% of black children are born out of wedlock. Nothing displays the black woman's collective dysfunction like the baby mamma epidemic. She is so deceived and her mind so deluded that she actually celebrates this social scourge with baby showers , pictures on Facebook etc. Having a child out of wedlock stifles a woman's chances for a productive fruitful marriage and hinders her potential career path. Noble brothers who would make the women good husbands are in many cases turned off by the prospect of raising another man's seed. I for one would not want to do it. So I know there are many other men out there who feel the same way. Especially if the woman has multiple children with multiple men that reduces her odds of getting a good husband even more. This usually forces the women to date the vile and uneducated , uncouth element or what we call the thugs. Thugs are not giving their own future much consideration and they are themselves looking for a "COME UP", so if they have to raise another man's kids in order to live in her apartment he'll do it. This gives the woman power because she is now the HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD. And we all know what happens when she leads the family.
6) CHURCH GIRL
" JESUS IS MY HUBAND!!" How many brothers have heard that line. The church girl wards off potential husbands with the delusion that God will be the best husband she can find , that she will not settle for " a man" because she is too blessed and highly favored by God to defile herself with marrying a mere mortal. She would rather marry the pastor , but he is already taken. So if the man is not a preacher she ain't got much interest. She loves the church and devotes all her free time to it. And then spends years dreaming of the perfect God fearing man swooping in to take her away. She waits and waits and waits.....
These are just some of the barriers and defense mechanisms black women create in order to fend of submission to the love of a good black man. The sister is single because she WANTS TO BE SINGLE. She wants to be single because she is scared of love and the requirements of submission and vulnerability it brings. Too many black women today are LAZY COWARDS, when it comes to love and marriage, however they disguise it. There is no relationship that does not require work to maintain it. If you get a dog, you have to house break it, buy dog food and take the dog for walks , you and the dog have a relationship. If you don't want to do those activities don,t get a dog. If you don't want a long term and rewarding relationship then do some of the things I have just listed
K.L. STUBBLEFIELD IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN.
You can order my book on
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1466900237/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader_1466900237
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/k.-l.-stubblefield
http://www.booksamillion.com/p/American-Reprobate/K-L-Stubblefield/9781466900233
https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=K.+L.+Stubblefield
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