What is a Good Black Wife? ( A BLACK MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
What is a Good Black Wife? ( A BLACK MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
Every one wants to know what brothers want in a wife. Being a black man myself and having been married for 19 years I can tell you one major quality of a good wife is "GRATITUDE"!!! I believe most if not all of the ills that plague men and women today, no matter what color they are is having a spirit of ungratefulness. Proverbs 27:7 states this succinctly.
Proverbs 27:7-8 (KJV)
7The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.
It's hard for a righteous man to maintain a good relationship with someone who either rejects his love , wisdom, and leadership or who is just content to remain COMMON.
If women truly want a GODLY brother it is imperative that you understand this. A righteous brother who is seeking his God is not going to be content to just get by. He will be constantly striving for more. Not more of what the world offers which is corrupt. But more of what God has for his life and the lives of those he is closest to. He strives for more love, peace, joy, family, friends, happiness and of course wealth just so long as that wealth is not ill-gotten , or causes him to stray from his God.
A woman should be an open vessel ready to be filled up with the latter rain of God's Holy spirit. Ready to love an honor a righteous husband and be willing to submit to him as he is to her as it is right in the Lord. Men are tired of having to sort and sift through a nation of obstinate , self centered, vain, histrionic, selfish, whorish women, it wears on the brothers spirit and makes his heart sad.
Ezekiel 13:22 (KJV)
22Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life:
Preachers lie to you, pimps, thugs, deadbeats, you listen to everyone except those who carry the truth. Men of honor scratch their head and ask God why is this so!!
God revealed to me that this is an object lesson that we as a church treat him the same way. This makes me want to do better and to serve him better because dealing with this crap HURTS!!!!
Game times over sister, rip that weave out, rend your clothes, put on sackcloth, fast and get in your closet and cry out to Yahweh for his help in helping you overcome your self hatred and delusions. Ask Him to show you as HE SEES YOU, NOT AS YOU SEE YOURSELF and then exercise the faith and believe he can heal you. Because he can. I personally can bear witness to that because I know he is working in my life and I am nowhere near perfect. It is wisdom that fills us up, wisdom that is the companion of the most high from time everlasting. Men and women of honor seek it. Below I have listed a list of qualities and characteristics that "DECENT", " HONORABLE " men seek . It would behoove women who seek a "good" man to try to incorporate these characteristics in their lives. This is an extensive, but not an exhaustive list.
Spiritual:
The woman has a spiritual disposition, a thirst for knowledge not just earthly knowledge but spiritual wisdom. She is like Mary who unlike Martha was willing to sit at the feet of Yeshua. (Jesus)
Humble :
She is self effacing not in a negative way that is rooted in low self esteem. But in the knowledge that her strength and hope comes from above
Loving :
She is sweet, and adorable a pleasure to be around she has the indwelling spirit of Gods love and she EXPRESSES AND PROJECTS that love toward her husband. His heart does safely trust in her.
Supportive :
She believes in her husband. It is her faith that propels him to greater endeavors. She is an object lesson of God's church exercising faith in Yeshua.
Brave:
She is spiritually courageous she is not afraid to love her husband. she is not neurotic and laden with inner fears. She knows that all love has the risk of pain and she dares to love anyway.
Industrious:
She is a hard worker, in the home or out. She works hard and remains a woman. Some of the loveliest women I've seen have worked in blue collar jobs. Women who can role up there sleeves and do physical work along side her man and still be all women are rare and worth their weight in gold.
Trusting :
She gives her husband or significant other the benefit of the doubt. She is not overly paranoid at his absence, wondering who he may be with. She is not blowing up his phone, constantly asking where he is or where he's been. She is secure in her femininity.
Honest:
She is truthful, her word is her bond, she demonstrates integrity in her actions as well as her spoken word.
Trustworthy :
She can be relied upon, she can be trusted to maintain her integrity around other men while not in the presence of her husband or significant other. She can be trusted in performing a task that is assigned to her, not only from her husband , but employers, other family members or friends as well.
Feminine:
She is a true woman, a true lady. She loves to dress and carry herself in her feminine nature. She is soft, not only physically but spiritually. She does not let this overly feminist gynocentric culture change who she is ,which is a woman of GOD'S design.
Affectionate :
She loves her husband and shows it regularly, with hugs and kisses, through little niceties, such as a back rub after a hard days work, running his bathwater or cooking him his favorite meal. She ministers to HIM and not constantly wanting to be ministered to herself.
Attractive:
She makes herself the most attractive person she can be. She doesn't have to look like someone else. She radiates the natural beauty and comeliness given to her by God.
Delightful:
I discuss delight extensively in my upcoming book. " STAYING HUMAN " Delight is great pleasure, a delightful woman is a joy to be around. She brings contentment to a man's heart, her presence is soothing to his spirit. She truly becomes the man's crown.
Nurturing :
She empathizes, she cultivates care in her being and in her loved ones, be it her man, children, parents, or her environment. She pours out HER love and in turn receives praises from her husband and blessings from her God.
Clean :
She takes care of her household, she washes the dishes, changes the bed sheets, vacuums the floors she keeps an orderly and beautiful home. A clean environment generates peace and she endeavors for that peace through her cleanliness.
Good cook :
She prepares meals that are tasty , delectable , and most important healthy to eat for herself and her family. A man looks forward to mealtime with her. Her children also can't wait to run home in time for supper.
Sexual :
She enjoys intimate relations with her husband, She is an open vessel and gladly receives her husbands essence. She is neither a prude nor a whore. She knows that sex has a spiritual as well as physical effect on the relationship. She abhors only that which is defiling.
Friendly :
She loves people in general, she is kind to others naturally, good conversationalist and sharp intellect. Comfortable meeting strangers and cultivating existing relationships with other people who are outside of her family circle. A good influence on others.
Good person:
No one is totally good, but she innately strives for goodness in her life and the lives of those close to her.
Noble:
She is a woman of honor. She commands respect simply by her decorum, and conversation. You can look at her and tell that she is someones WIFE.
Frugal:
She maintains the family budget. She is trusted by her husband. He doesn't mind handing over the check to her. The bills WILL be paid on time. She tries to shop for the best bargains in order to save the family income for more pleasurable endeavors such as vacations to Disneyworld, cruises etc. This is made possible by her being disciplined with the family finances. This is an object lesson for paying a faithful tithe.
Educated:
She understands the benefits of both formal and informal education. She is intelligent. Not just book wise but wise to the day to day operations of the world she lives in. She knows that knowledge is infinite and she strives to attain more of it all the days of her life.
Likes men:
She sees men as GOD'S creation, as human beings just like herself. She enjoys their company. She is not a woman scorned. She values men in general and appreciates them.
Similar beliefs and values:
She and her man share the same beliefs in the core areas of life, spiritual, social, emotional, etc. There may be some variations but this is normal, and natural. She and her husband however are in agreement.
Non-violent :
She does not use violence or the threat of violence in her relationships with her husband. If she has to physically discipline her children it is with love and mercy. She doesn't abuse her children, nor her husband in wrath.
Forgiving:
She is willing to forgive transgressions because she knows that she is only dust herself. She may be angry but her heart is still stretched out toward the object that may have offended her. She does not let the sun go down on her wrath.
Good mother:
She loves her children and it shows, she is like the woman in the Dallas Texas shooting that threw her body over her son to protect him from the bullet. She pours her heart out for her children. She nurtures and cultivates her children to greater endeavors.
Fun:
She has a great sense of humor, people are relaxed around her. She makes people laugh. She enjoys physical activities such as sports and exercise.
Content:
She is content with whatever level of life she finds herself in, she is not complacent though. Se still strives to reach higher so long as it is in the will of God and not in conflict with her husband.
Willing to submit:
She trusts her man enough to let him lead, not as a dictator or a domestic tyrant, she is not a doormat. She is wise and self effacing. She allows her husband to be the leader of the household . He is the king but she is the queen. So he submits to her when it is appropriate as well. A mutually beneficial relationship is formed in the process. Everybody wins!
Understands the culture knows it affects the relationship:
She knows that the culture affects the relationships. She knows that America is a nation that puts stumbling blocks in the path of those who seek loving and righteous relationships and she endeavors to resist these stumbling blocks alongside her husband in order to maintain the bond that God has decreed for them.
Understands that cultivating Sexless love is necessary :
Women today have lost their ability to generate love in a man's heart without having sex. Satan has deceived her into thinking that sex is the foundation of love for a man. That you have to be sexy in order to get a prime man. That is not the case for longterm relations. Don't get me wrong sex is an important "INGREDIENT" in a loving relationship but it is not the , primary , nor is it the only INGREDIENT to put sex in either category is will short circuit the relationship.
There you have it ladies and gents. we all want good relationships but we don;t want to develop qualities that make good relationships/I hope this list will get women and men to prayerfully ponder what they really want out of life and the ones they choose to love.
K.L. STUBBLEFIELD IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN.
You can order my book on
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1466900237/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader_1466900237
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/k.-l.-stubblefield
http://www.booksamillion.com/p/American-Reprobate/K-L-Stubblefield/9781466900233
Every one wants to know what brothers want in a wife. Being a black man myself and having been married for 19 years I can tell you one major quality of a good wife is "GRATITUDE"!!! I believe most if not all of the ills that plague men and women today, no matter what color they are is having a spirit of ungratefulness. Proverbs 27:7 states this succinctly.
Proverbs 27:7-8 (KJV)
7The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.
It's hard for a righteous man to maintain a good relationship with someone who either rejects his love , wisdom, and leadership or who is just content to remain COMMON.
If women truly want a GODLY brother it is imperative that you understand this. A righteous brother who is seeking his God is not going to be content to just get by. He will be constantly striving for more. Not more of what the world offers which is corrupt. But more of what God has for his life and the lives of those he is closest to. He strives for more love, peace, joy, family, friends, happiness and of course wealth just so long as that wealth is not ill-gotten , or causes him to stray from his God.
A woman should be an open vessel ready to be filled up with the latter rain of God's Holy spirit. Ready to love an honor a righteous husband and be willing to submit to him as he is to her as it is right in the Lord. Men are tired of having to sort and sift through a nation of obstinate , self centered, vain, histrionic, selfish, whorish women, it wears on the brothers spirit and makes his heart sad.
Ezekiel 13:22 (KJV)
22Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life:
Preachers lie to you, pimps, thugs, deadbeats, you listen to everyone except those who carry the truth. Men of honor scratch their head and ask God why is this so!!
God revealed to me that this is an object lesson that we as a church treat him the same way. This makes me want to do better and to serve him better because dealing with this crap HURTS!!!!
Game times over sister, rip that weave out, rend your clothes, put on sackcloth, fast and get in your closet and cry out to Yahweh for his help in helping you overcome your self hatred and delusions. Ask Him to show you as HE SEES YOU, NOT AS YOU SEE YOURSELF and then exercise the faith and believe he can heal you. Because he can. I personally can bear witness to that because I know he is working in my life and I am nowhere near perfect. It is wisdom that fills us up, wisdom that is the companion of the most high from time everlasting. Men and women of honor seek it. Below I have listed a list of qualities and characteristics that "DECENT", " HONORABLE " men seek . It would behoove women who seek a "good" man to try to incorporate these characteristics in their lives. This is an extensive, but not an exhaustive list.
Spiritual:
The woman has a spiritual disposition, a thirst for knowledge not just earthly knowledge but spiritual wisdom. She is like Mary who unlike Martha was willing to sit at the feet of Yeshua. (Jesus)
She is self effacing not in a negative way that is rooted in low self esteem. But in the knowledge that her strength and hope comes from above
Loving :
She is sweet, and adorable a pleasure to be around she has the indwelling spirit of Gods love and she EXPRESSES AND PROJECTS that love toward her husband. His heart does safely trust in her.
Supportive :
She believes in her husband. It is her faith that propels him to greater endeavors. She is an object lesson of God's church exercising faith in Yeshua.
Brave:
She is spiritually courageous she is not afraid to love her husband. she is not neurotic and laden with inner fears. She knows that all love has the risk of pain and she dares to love anyway.
Industrious:
Trusting :
She gives her husband or significant other the benefit of the doubt. She is not overly paranoid at his absence, wondering who he may be with. She is not blowing up his phone, constantly asking where he is or where he's been. She is secure in her femininity.
Honest:
She is truthful, her word is her bond, she demonstrates integrity in her actions as well as her spoken word.
Trustworthy :
She can be relied upon, she can be trusted to maintain her integrity around other men while not in the presence of her husband or significant other. She can be trusted in performing a task that is assigned to her, not only from her husband , but employers, other family members or friends as well.
Feminine:
She is a true woman, a true lady. She loves to dress and carry herself in her feminine nature. She is soft, not only physically but spiritually. She does not let this overly feminist gynocentric culture change who she is ,which is a woman of GOD'S design.
Affectionate :
She loves her husband and shows it regularly, with hugs and kisses, through little niceties, such as a back rub after a hard days work, running his bathwater or cooking him his favorite meal. She ministers to HIM and not constantly wanting to be ministered to herself.
Attractive:
She makes herself the most attractive person she can be. She doesn't have to look like someone else. She radiates the natural beauty and comeliness given to her by God.
Delightful:
I discuss delight extensively in my upcoming book. " STAYING HUMAN " Delight is great pleasure, a delightful woman is a joy to be around. She brings contentment to a man's heart, her presence is soothing to his spirit. She truly becomes the man's crown.
Nurturing :
She empathizes, she cultivates care in her being and in her loved ones, be it her man, children, parents, or her environment. She pours out HER love and in turn receives praises from her husband and blessings from her God.
Clean :
She takes care of her household, she washes the dishes, changes the bed sheets, vacuums the floors she keeps an orderly and beautiful home. A clean environment generates peace and she endeavors for that peace through her cleanliness.
Good cook :
She prepares meals that are tasty , delectable , and most important healthy to eat for herself and her family. A man looks forward to mealtime with her. Her children also can't wait to run home in time for supper.
She enjoys intimate relations with her husband, She is an open vessel and gladly receives her husbands essence. She is neither a prude nor a whore. She knows that sex has a spiritual as well as physical effect on the relationship. She abhors only that which is defiling.
Friendly :
She loves people in general, she is kind to others naturally, good conversationalist and sharp intellect. Comfortable meeting strangers and cultivating existing relationships with other people who are outside of her family circle. A good influence on others.
Good person:
No one is totally good, but she innately strives for goodness in her life and the lives of those close to her.
Noble:
She is a woman of honor. She commands respect simply by her decorum, and conversation. You can look at her and tell that she is someones WIFE.
Frugal:
She maintains the family budget. She is trusted by her husband. He doesn't mind handing over the check to her. The bills WILL be paid on time. She tries to shop for the best bargains in order to save the family income for more pleasurable endeavors such as vacations to Disneyworld, cruises etc. This is made possible by her being disciplined with the family finances. This is an object lesson for paying a faithful tithe.
Educated:
She understands the benefits of both formal and informal education. She is intelligent. Not just book wise but wise to the day to day operations of the world she lives in. She knows that knowledge is infinite and she strives to attain more of it all the days of her life.
Likes men:
She sees men as GOD'S creation, as human beings just like herself. She enjoys their company. She is not a woman scorned. She values men in general and appreciates them.
Similar beliefs and values:
She and her man share the same beliefs in the core areas of life, spiritual, social, emotional, etc. There may be some variations but this is normal, and natural. She and her husband however are in agreement.
Non-violent :
She does not use violence or the threat of violence in her relationships with her husband. If she has to physically discipline her children it is with love and mercy. She doesn't abuse her children, nor her husband in wrath.
Forgiving:
She is willing to forgive transgressions because she knows that she is only dust herself. She may be angry but her heart is still stretched out toward the object that may have offended her. She does not let the sun go down on her wrath.
Good mother:
She loves her children and it shows, she is like the woman in the Dallas Texas shooting that threw her body over her son to protect him from the bullet. She pours her heart out for her children. She nurtures and cultivates her children to greater endeavors.
Fun:
She has a great sense of humor, people are relaxed around her. She makes people laugh. She enjoys physical activities such as sports and exercise.
Content:
She is content with whatever level of life she finds herself in, she is not complacent though. Se still strives to reach higher so long as it is in the will of God and not in conflict with her husband.
Willing to submit:
She trusts her man enough to let him lead, not as a dictator or a domestic tyrant, she is not a doormat. She is wise and self effacing. She allows her husband to be the leader of the household . He is the king but she is the queen. So he submits to her when it is appropriate as well. A mutually beneficial relationship is formed in the process. Everybody wins!
Understands the culture knows it affects the relationship:
She knows that the culture affects the relationships. She knows that America is a nation that puts stumbling blocks in the path of those who seek loving and righteous relationships and she endeavors to resist these stumbling blocks alongside her husband in order to maintain the bond that God has decreed for them.
Understands that cultivating Sexless love is necessary :
Women today have lost their ability to generate love in a man's heart without having sex. Satan has deceived her into thinking that sex is the foundation of love for a man. That you have to be sexy in order to get a prime man. That is not the case for longterm relations. Don't get me wrong sex is an important "INGREDIENT" in a loving relationship but it is not the , primary , nor is it the only INGREDIENT to put sex in either category is will short circuit the relationship.
There you have it ladies and gents. we all want good relationships but we don;t want to develop qualities that make good relationships/I hope this list will get women and men to prayerfully ponder what they really want out of life and the ones they choose to love.
K.L. STUBBLEFIELD IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "AMERICAN REPROBATE: GOD'S CURSE AND RESTORATION OF THE AFRICAN AMERICAN.
You can order my book on
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1466900237/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader_1466900237
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/k.-l.-stubblefield
http://www.booksamillion.com/p/American-Reprobate/K-L-Stubblefield/9781466900233
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